But its not true.

My BMI is 26. So I only need to lose a few pounds to be in the healthy range. In that respect, this should be a short blog. As a feminist, I want to tell you that I don’t want to lose weight to match some ridiculous societal-ly imposed view of beauty. I want to tell you I don’t want to look like some studpid cupie doll or Barbie. I want to tell you my need to lose the weight is only to get into the healthy range. I want to, but I can’t.

I want to fit back into my size 0 skinny jeans and my Medium Boys sized 10 Bob’s Crab Shack tshirt, my favorite outfit in college. That’s why I want to lose weight and my inner Simone de Beauvoir hates me for it, HATES me…. But that’s still why I want it. I felt good about my body then. I felt good when I had BADASS flame covered size 2 jeans. Hell, I loved my old navy size 4s in light blue. I want those pants back… because I haven’t felt good about myself since I took the size 4s off for the last time. Hell my size 10 ass would be happy with 6s again… but I want my 4s. I am older, I don’t expect to get back to 0, and generally as a rule I think people striving to be a ZERO is ridiculous, but I want my 4s, because I want to feel good about myself again.